How to Avoid Elevator Conversation

Don’t look at any faces; the mirrored
walls give perfect opportunity to
fix your hair 80’s style in distorted mode as
you can then mumble to yourself fumbling
around in your purse or pockets, put
hand to ear pretending to make a phone
call to your mother and you fake ask
her if she managed to heat up her
macaroni and cheese without blowing up
her microwave this time, and you sound real
concerned. Peripheral vision tells you that the
person/thing in the elevator with you
(you don’t know who is in the elevator with
you because you haven’t looked at them yet)
is nodding a head shaped thing, and now
you’re fumbling with your jeans and unzip
them and zip them. Nobody is going
to talk to you at this point.
Just don’t get stuck in an elevator; people
will talk to anybody then.

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