Thirteen Tons of Stones

I went to the creek today to forget about you.
I ate 3 pounds of stones to make me heavy;
heavy like my soul, and heavy like how
your silence warped me, and heavy like
how I remember you on top of me.
But I don’t want to remember.
I don’t want to remember the hope that I felt,
the water that I imagined one day we would
bathe in, the woods that I saw us playing in.
I want to forget all of that.
But it’s hard, and I swallowed stone after
stone until my body was too heavy to
move towards the light,
and I am lying there forever stuck
in a creek bed with a 13 ton soul.

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Psychopomp

I. It hurts

Take me over there
before I bleed everything out:
my violence, my hates, my loves, my light
Stop!

II. Cosmic interlude

You are not your blood
your bones, your feathers, your eyes
says the vulture to the dead robin in the road

III. You are here

My hand can not draw the face that I want
I forgot what you look like
My old hand draws a sun and a tree

IV. The riddle

Beneath the ground there is always a sound
Somebody is always eating; somebody is always breathing
Who is it?

VI. Silence by the tree

I will empty myself out over there
Don’t deny me the pain of surrender
Bury these things with the worms and the stones

[ Was originally published online in Pankhearst’s Fresh ]

Kali’s on Fire

I am not like the other women that have come before.
I have walked on rocks in the middle of the night
and found a terrible softness whispered by cobra fangs.
I have heard a crow dying in the daytime sun
choking on one last frog skull.
I am not afraid to take a sword and plunge it
eleven times deep inside to find a heart
and eat it.